The Feeling of Being Abandoned

It's hard to be in the same frequency as people that got abandoned by their parents. However recently I kinda know how it feels. I don't know, maybe it's the same feeling when your friends abandon you.

I'm in the growing up phase of life and I'm seeing major changes as the days go by. It's hard to be not sensitive. You know, the usual "Nobody understands me" kinda feeling. But before you look at me as an immature individual, I have my stand as to prove why I really feel left out.

You see, my mother is going through a hard time trying to get her health right. I was tasked to take care of her till she gets better. It's hard to keep up with friends that I used to hang out with due to the fact that I have to be home most of the time. Gradually, I could feel that my close friends stop asking me out. And it feels really bad, bad, bad.

I'm not included in my friends' plans any more. It's true that I've found a new group of friends to hang out with. But that doesn't mean those that I usually hang out with are neglected.

I'm not one of those that becomes emotional and try to add oil to fire by saying,"okay, ignore me for all I care. I know I'm not important in your life." I will look for solution as to how to overcome the situation. Maybe it's time to do some self-check. Is it the way I treat my friends?

I know, it's best to let it go. Things will get better. I believe.

Facing Life

Well, I've reached a point in life when decisions are hard to make. In less than two months, my polytechnic education's gonna end. And I would be serving the National Service for two years. And I haven't friggin' figured what I wanna do after that. My average cumulative GPA cannot get me anywhere decent except to go for overseas studies, in which, I don't really favor the idea of leaving Singapore.

So lets say I made it into university and got out. These are the ideal things I may get myself into:

Marketing:

I was attached to CBS Interactive while I was going through my internship program for eleven weeks. I kinda like what I was doing back then. Designing advertisements for clients and handling campaigns with ridiculous deadlines.

Journalism:

As you can see, I love to write. I mean, give me anything and I would research and churn a decent piece of article for you. I might wanna major in English Literature in university to further improve my writing skills.

Entrepreneur:

Got that right: start my own business. I always dream of owning a company, getting it listed and I could just laze around reaping what I sowed. But life is not that easy if you've realized. Companies like Ya Kun, Old Chang Kee and Koi Cafe have always inspired me. They started small and is now growing. It's the passion.

Do Absolutely Nothing:

When I strike lottery.

Stop Trying Too Hard

Described below are the signs you are trying too hard to be socially accepted. Trying too hard can sometimes backfire.

Apology:

At times, we try to accommodate the needs of our friends, too much. I especially dislike it when a person apologizes to me when the situation requires no apology. For instance, when I ask a person out. He/She would reply: "Sorry, can't make it". You need not feel sorry for everything in life. Apology is a sacred practice to reconciliation and it's becoming a cliche.

Probing:

When your friends refuse to speak up, don't probe. I tend to bottle up my feelings and I feel uneasy when someone forces me to share my problems. Many people are like that too. Learn to read cues and respect your friends. It's a free country.

Pleasing Others:

You suspected that you've offended a person. Don't laugh at his/her jokes even if it's not funny cos' the person can see through you are trying to gain favor. A big turn off. Find such situation familiar? Because most of us have been living a life trying to please others, TOO MUCH. Start living by stop worrying about the feelings of others towards you. Ignoring how others see you portrays a certain charisma.

Not Being Yourself:

You behave differently in front of different groups of people. You are trying hard to display an inconsistent personality. With one group of friends, you show them that you are a lecher who gloats over boobs. With another group of friends, you let them know you respect girls. Be consistent with your behavior. If you are a lustful bastard, be like that when you are with all friends and genders. If they cannot accept you, they just have to accept the fact that you have a truthful nature.


And don't try too hard to not try too hard,
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No Such Thing As Perfection

In a relationship that is.

I look at my parents. I admire their efforts in sustaining the marriage despite uncountable bickers. They see the flaws of each other and yet are still able to love each other unconditionally.

As you friends know me, I'm an American television shows and movies junkie. Many shows made me realize that expecting your partner to be perfect is impossible. The whole idea of cohabitation is acceptation.


There's always make-up sex,
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Help Yourself To Help Yourself

Ever had someone telling you that you talk to much or you are too vain? Well, sometimes what people say to you may hold some truth to it. Some refuse to accept negative remarks for a few reasons:

1) They actually constantly do self-monitoring and already figured themselves out, i.e. the things you tell this kind of people is not constant with what they know about themselves.

2) They just plainly refuse to accept anything negative.

Since I mentioned about talking too much, let us see it in a different light. Well, I'm not the quietest person you can find. I hate silence. I think aloud. It's just me. However I do know when to shut up. The way I see it: it's okay to be a person who talks a lot. The tip/trick is: say the right things. Or maybe, say things that are music to one's ears.

I believe that constant self-monitoring is important for personal growth. I've witnessed people who are religious. They go church every Sunday. Yet, not many people like them. You have your Creator by your side but you can't get Him to tell others to like you.

I was initially afraid to think about the mistakes I've made because they haunt me. Then, I realized that things already happened. So the point is, ACCEPT yourself for who you are FIRST before looking back for mistakes.

Secondly, change one point at a time. If you think you wanna be a good listener, read up more. Information is everywhere. Do you tend to get offensive whenever you are closer to a person? Change that!

Well, no one's perfect. I've lived most parts of my life wanting people to live according to the way I want them to and I've faced much disappointment. Also, I find it hard to forgive. The best I can do is to forgive but not forget. Come to think of it, it's not really forgiving. Well, who cares.


I don't,
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This Could Jeopardize Your Career Or Even Relationships

It is just ever so tempting to write about someone I do not like. Not just in blog, but in facebook too. Trust me, I don't do that. Even if I would, it would be a brief one and names will not even be mentioned.

It's just my strict policy I have set for myself not to flame others, even my enemies. There are people around me which I don't wish to speak to on a daily basis. There are close friends that say something inappropriate to me. It is just not right to discuss it over the cyber space. Nobody likes to be talked about, badly.

It just irritates me when I read a blog post dedicated to flaming someone. Now, as we speak about blog, I would like to tell you the kinds of blogs that irk me:

The Daily Report

The person writes about what he/she did and the events that happened from the morning to the end of the day. Who the hell cares about what you do? And you do that everyday? God, kill me.

Personal Updates

Well, similar to the above type but this kind of blogger doesn't post everyday. Because they are so busy, whenever they get the time to blog they just blab whatever happened for the past two weeks to update you on what he/she is being up to.

The Emotionals

Come on, stop posting about how sad you are and how much you need a girlfriend/boyfriend. Catch up, the emo era is over. It's not longer year 2005 when being emo was a hit.

The Flamers

They write to insult, criticize and demean others. Boy, I love these perfectionists.

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Okay, I was saying about flaming others on cyber space. Well, this is not something trivial. These days, human resource departments of companies do background checks on job applicants. From the things you post up over the Internet, they form a perception of who you are. Do you think they wanna hire a flamer? Which potentially can be the cause of office politics?

And say, you hook up a girl. She did a background check on you and found that you talk about nothing but the negatives of others, do you think she'll go out with you again?

Well, life is yours. You can choose what you see fit but I'm telling you, what goes around comes around. Karma will catch up one day. Been there, done that.


The serious Ah Beng,
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4D Gaga

This week's draws:


My 4D ticket:


Look at my near misses for this week's 4D!